I often try to take inventory of my life. Not because I’m unhappy, or depressed, but because I think it’s a healthy practice – to step back and look at where I’m at, where I’m going, and where I’ve come from.
One of the best ways I have continued to learn about myself has been by keeping a journal. Not only does it help me consider what is happening in my life currently, but it helps me realize where I have come from and what things I have thought in the past. Continue reading “Taking Inventory of My Life”
One of my goals today is to get my garage cleaned out enough so my wife can park her car in it. Since it’s a high of 9 degrees and snowing, I figured that’s a good way to serve her.
As I looked at my garage, I was instantly overwhelmed and had that feeling of, “I have no stinking idea where to start.” After a few minutes (probably more like 15) of milling around my garage, looking at things and wondering what I should do with them, I found myself doing what I do often – nothing. I was thinking about doing something, and was planning on doing something, but nothing was getting done. I was trying to make sure that I was doing it exactly right (I think that’s my excuse).
Our world needs great coaches. Not only in sports, but in life. Many men don’t understand what makes a great coach. A great coach brings the best out in people. A great coach fosters a thriving team or community. A great coach helps each individual understand they are part of something greater than themselves. A great coach helps people recognize the key part they play on the team and in the bigger picture. Our communities are lacking great coaches.
Many sports coaches in my local area choose to motivate by shame, saying degrading things to their players, and making them think they aren’t good enough to play at the next level. This is horrible. Coaches have every right to push people hard – harder than they have ever been pushed. Coaches have every right to expect greatness from their players. But, greatness and hard work will not come from humiliating players, or berating them.
Greatness and hard work will come when people are motivated to contribute to something greater than themselves. Greatness and hard work will come when somebody says, “I know you can do it, I believe in you. Now do it.”
What else makes a great coach? Any other thoughts?
I often drift off into my own world and it’s easy for me to stay there. I need to make a conscious effort to engage with the world around me. I’m willing to bet that most men need to engage more in at least one part of the world around them. Us men would be better boyfriends, better sons, better husbands, better fathers, and better friends if we engaged more with the world around us.
I could ask myself ‘how much is enough.’ I could make excuses for not engaging in the world around me. I need to engage more. Period.
Some quick advice: go toward people – toward those who are closest to you: your girlfriend/wife, son, daughter, mom, dad, friend… Then, ask questions. Get to know them. Get to know them better than you know them now. Don’t talk about yourself, just ask questions and listen.
Some more advice: start now. Don’t tell yourself you can’t change or that it’s too late. It’s not. Engage more with the world around you, especially those you love.
Tell us how it goes…
When I first began dating my wife, she would ask my opinion about a slew of different topics (I honestly can’t remember what some of the topics were). My normal answer was… “I don’t know.” After several, “I don’t know’s,” she finally burst out with, “well, THINK ABOUT IT!” Those three words began to change my life..from boy to man.
Men need to think. I bet I was raised in a home similar to the average American, where it’s best to ‘keep an open mind.’ I used to interpret that saying as, ‘don’t have a strong opinion or think too much about anything or you’re a putz.’ I was wrong. Our communities and families need men that lead with their thought-through opinions.
That’s my challenge for the day (especially you men)… think. Try not to answer with, “I don’t know” for a whole week, even if it means getting back to someone later.
For the fun of it, write down what you’re thinking about right now in the comments below. Even if it’s just a word or two.
Thanks to Rob Inh00d for the photo above (nice username, too!)
Much of my life I have gone through the daily and weekly motions, mostly doing what people ask of me or doing what I believe is expected of me without much of a plan. If I’m honest, I didn’t have a plan concerning what college I attended, I went the easy route. I didn’t plan on what jobs I took during the summers, I just took what was given to me.
What about the girl you’re dating, or the classes you’re taking in college? Do you have a plan behind those? Is there a greater purpose that you have in dating that girl, or taking that class (sorry to equate those, ladies…)? You need a plan. That daughter and future mother needs to know you have a plan. You’ll thank yourself later if you have a plan. It’s OK if it’s altered later, just put some purpose behind what you’re doing now.
I have recently been challenged to think about having a life plan. Many people often ask the question, “what would you want to be known for after you die?” I want to plan for that. Right now I can determine how people remember me after I’m gone. I can begin being about those things I want to be known as before I pass on.
If you haven’t thought about a life plan, or don’t even know what one looks like, I would encourage you to read this post by Michael Hyatt. He’s a Christian, so it’s based around living as a Chrisitan would, but I would bet that anybody could get something out of his model.
Have you developed a life plan? What does it look like? Do you have any tips for us?
Thanks to popofatticus for the photo above.
I have not taken the time to get to know myself; what I’m good at, what makes me unique, and what I might have to offer this world until recently. I think that I am currently evading a quarter-life crisis because I’m taking the time to get to know myself.
I think men could avoid going through a mid-life crisis (or quarter-life, or whatever, like ageism Creed in the picture) if they were to take the time to get to know themselves. Here are a few resources that have helped me recently: Continue reading “Knowing Yourself.”
- Try everything at least once (my dad encouraged me to at least try everything – every sport, music, etc.).
- Invite your son / daughter to help you. Even though they might not know what you’re doing, they love to learn, and at least feel like they’re helping (I did).
- Enjoy life.
- Love your kids.
- Discipline isn’t a bad thing, it’s necessary.
I’m thankful for my father, and my Father. I’ve learned so much from them both.
What did you learn from your dad?
This blog is dedicated to my personal thoughts, experiences and observations about transitioning from boyhood to manhood.
Thanks to my good, good friend Bobby for the picture that will headline this blog. Bobby is a true man that has inspired me in many areas of my life.
I hope to pique your interest, spark some thoughts, and entertain through my own mistakes. Join in on the conversation. Let’s help the next generation of male adults become true men.