Category: Manhood

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Brewing Beer

Today, I’m going to brew some beer.

I need to write about the fact that I’m going to brew beer, because if I don’t, then I won’t. That’s because I’ll find a reason not to brew because I don’t have absolutely everything perfectly lined up to brew the best beer I can.

I think that’s often why I procrastinate – because not everything is exactly in place as it should be, so I don’t get it done until it absolutely has to be done. I think it’s a sickness.

If you’re a friend of mine or even stumble upon this writing, I’d love some follow up to see if I’ve actually brewed some beer. That would help me out.

Cheers.

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The women in your life are more beautiful than they think…

As men, how can we help improve how the women in our lives view themselves? Our wives, girlfriends, daughters, mothers, friends?

Please watch this video, and think about how we can help women know that they are beautiful to us…

http://youtu.be/litXW91UauE

I hope to be a person who helps improve the way women view themselves, rather than negatively impacting that view. Kind of reminds me of a John Mayer song…

 

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Work.

Why are more parents today letting their kids get away without working? “You’ll have your whole life to work,” I’ve heard many parents mutter. True, but what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with working now? I think parents now need to encourage their children to work, and the earlier, the better.

 


Work is great for several things. It helps us know more about ourselves and what we enjoy doing. It helps us develop socially as we interact with others we work alongside. It helps us gain respect for authority, even if we don’t always agree or get along with our bosses. It teaches us to respect the people that work hard for a living – especially in the jobs that we would not want to have. It helps us make the world a better place.

QUICK POLL! At what age did you get your first job? If you feel spunky, elaborate on that – what was your job?

Thanks to The U.S. Army for the photo above.
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Connecting with each other: men vs. women

I can’t remember where I heard this, but I think it’s genius. Men connect shoulder-to-shoulder, whereas women connect face-to-face. This makes sense why I don’t feel deep connections with men when we meet over coffee. I’d rather be doing something; playing sports, hobbies, etc. 


One of the best things I do every year is go hunting with one of my good high school friends. We don’t get a lot of time together throughout the year, but we make it a point to hunt together once a year over opening deer weekend.


Men are bad at making and keeping great friends, but we need close friends. We need meaningful friendships. It’s easy for us to retreat to women (girlfriends, wives, moms), but those friendships come up short. Without elaborating too much, men are missing out if they only associate with women. 


Let’s start by asking someone to join us in something we love to do – creating a shoulder-to-shoulder connection. 


What have you done to connect with your good buddies? Give us some ideas!


Thanks Steve & Jemma Copley for the photo above.

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Being a Great Coach.

Our world needs great coaches. Not only in sports, but in life. Many men don’t understand what makes a great coach. A great coach brings the best out in people. A great coach fosters a thriving team or community. A great coach helps each individual understand they are part of something greater than themselves. A great coach helps people recognize the key part they play on the team and in the bigger picture. Our communities are lacking great coaches.

Many sports coaches in my local area choose to motivate by shame, saying degrading things to their players, and making them think they aren’t good enough to play at the next level. This is horrible. Coaches have every right to push people hard – harder than they have ever been pushed. Coaches have every right to expect greatness from their players. But, greatness and hard work will not come from humiliating players, or berating them.
Greatness and hard work will come when people are motivated to contribute to something greater than themselves. Greatness and hard work will come when somebody says, “I know you can do it, I believe in you. Now do it.”
What else makes a great coach? Any other thoughts?
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Maturity & Men.

Men are maturing from boys to men slower than they ever have, at least that’s what I think. If that’s true, I believe there are several factors that cause this tragedy, but one blog puts it this way: we (as men) need to create more and consume less.


The Art of Manliness is a blog / website that addresses manhood from several angles. Here’s a snippet of why bloggers Brett and Kate McKay think that men are reaching maturity slower than ever:

“Whereas men once fought as soldiers, they now pretend to be ones. Where men used to play baseball and football, they now control avatars who play for them. Where men used to play an instrument, they now press buttons on a plastic toy. Where we once created, we now consume… 

Growing up doesn’t have to mean donning a gray flannel suit. It really means taking an active role in the world instead of a passive one. Making an impact. And creating your world instead of consuming it.”

I agree with Brett and Kate. Do you? How can we fight this trend? How have you fought this trend?


The full quoted article can be found here.

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Wives, Mothers & Daughters.

Men take care of their wives, mothers, and daughters. Boys mistreat them. Men will confront boys when they mistreat wives, mothers, and daughters.

I took a closer step to being a man when I realized that all women are daughters. Your wife is someone’s daughter. Your girlfriend is someone’s daughter. Your friend is someone’s daughter.

The last thing that I want is one of my boys mistreating someone else’s daughter. The very last thing that I want is some boy mistreating my daughter.

Let’s help our boys treat women right, starting with our wives. I pray that if we help our boys rightly treat our wives, this will begin a lifetime of treating women how they deserve to be treated – like precious daughters.

Just remember, our sons will treat and defend women as we treat and defend them.

Be a man.

Let’s raise men.

Thanks to Dane Khy for the great photo above.

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Taking Risks.

Men need to take risks. I think our culture is starting to raise ultra-safe (boring?) men due to one major thing: women are raising them. Divorce rates are high, and mothers are usually the ones to take care of the children. Take for example a conversation my wife was a part of with a group of mothers (you’ll want to hear this)…

A young boy (maybe around 8 or 10) was pretty attached to his iguana, until it died. He didn’t want his parents to know that it died, so he froze it (naturally) and would take it out to hold it once a day or so, putting it back in the freezer when he was finished. One day, he told a couple of his friends about his frozen iguana. Desiring to be men, they wanted to do something brave. They wanted to eat the iguana. Yep, eat it. So what happened? They ate it. Epic. Continue reading “Taking Risks.”

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Commitment.

Men need to commit. What’s so scary about commitment? It’s a risk. Why aren’t men taking risks? They’re afraid of making the wrong decision if they make a commitment. That leaves us nowhere. Not making a decision is the wrong decision.

After working with college students over the past few years, I have noticed that the only risks young college men are willing to take are risks that (seemingly) don’t have any long-term impact. They risk not doing homework, drinking too much on Sunday nights, driving way too late and way too fast at night, etc. (some of these actually do have long-term impact, it’s just not obvious at the time, I guess).

Here are a few observations that have led me to write this post on commitment: Continue reading “Commitment.”

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Trust.

Would you trust yourself to drive across the bridge in the picture? What about your 15 year old son… would you trust him to drive across that bridge? Your son needs to know that you trust him. A man needs to know that people trust him.

My dad remembers very clearly how his dad gave him the keys to his first car when he was 15 or 16. As they pulled up to a bridge (similar to, but probably shorter than the one in the picture) in my grandpa’s truck, my grandpa parked the truck, got out, and asked my dad to drive across the bridge. “No way, I can’t do that,” he thought. He didn’t trust himself. My grandpa told him that he could do it, and that he trusted him. After my dad drove across the bridge, he was given the keys to that truck.

My dad wasn’t being asked to prove that he could do something in order to get the keys to his truck, even though that’s what it seemed like at the time. The bigger lesson was that his dad actually trusted him with the truck. I believe both my dad and my grandpa grew closer to being true men that day.

How much do you trust your co-workers, your employees, your family, and/or your children? Do they know that you trust them? How? I think we need to learn to trust others in order to help them grow into adults. Especially men.

Do you have any stories of someone putting their trust in you and having it change you for the better? Or maybe it was the opposite. Please share!

Thanks to sweetmarias.com for the photo above