Men need to commit. What’s so scary about commitment? It’s a risk. Why aren’t men taking risks? They’re afraid of making the wrong decision if they make a commitment. That leaves us nowhere. Not making a decision is the wrong decision.
After working with college students over the past few years, I have noticed that the only risks young college men are willing to take are risks that (seemingly) don’t have any long-term impact. They risk not doing homework, drinking too much on Sunday nights, driving way too late and way too fast at night, etc. (some of these actually do have long-term impact, it’s just not obvious at the time, I guess).
Here are a few observations that have led me to write this post on commitment:
- Guys are dating women for longer than 4 or 5 years & not committing to marry them. This is fine if you start dating at 12, but when you’ve dated all through college and you’re still not married? You must be getting something you shouldn’t be getting…
- Procrastination is rampant, especially on deciding about what to do next in life. I just hosted a free seminar on transitioning into life after college, and NO men showed up! There were 13 women that listened and discussed about life after college. No men. Step it up, guys. Don’t deny that you’re graduating and moving on. Make a decision and do something. Anything is better than nothing.
- Any route that is taken in life seems to be the easiest. What about committing NOW to be the person you want to be in the future. A little work now can pay off later. Taking the easy route now will most likely lead to hardship later.
Thanks to Gorriz for the above photo
It's funny you post this Jason. Lately I've been learning more and more of what it means to be a real man after Gods heart. I finished a good book on relationships and just started Wild at Heart because I felt like I needed to start discovering more about this topic of being a passionate, committed man. Commitment, decision making and intentionality all quickly pop up as far as leading and being a real godly man in this life. It’s not easy, but it's our role, our responsibility, and it is what’s asked of us as men. Sometimes I quickly ask how… but I miss it completely, stop hesitating and move already!! We should have freedom to move if we truly believe what we know about God. I agree with you completely Jason, Thanks for posting this!
– Nate
Great post! Totally agree and I see it through a different lens because it's generally through the women I work with. I see how it affects them. Men don't realize that their lack of commitment impact more than just themselves.
Thanks Nate and Jody… I think that there are fewer and fewer men that are stepping up, making a commitment to do something, and follow through.
Marriage is definitely one area that affects women greatly. I think that the rest of our culture is influenced by men not stepping it up, too – our children are affected, our families are affected, our co-workers are affected, and even our bosses and friends are affected.
We need to not be so afraid of failing!