As a father of a 5 month-old son, I want to help raise my son into a man of character (the same would go for a daughter). Right now my wife really takes the brunt of parenting, and it’s easy for me to lay back and let her do what she does best. BUT, she needs me – not more than I need her – but she needs me. I need to help decide as a family how we are going to parent our children. This needs to happen from day one.
We haven’t been perfect (it’s only been 5 months!) in parenting our son, but we’ve been a team in making decisions, and we’ll continue to be a team. I admit, I have a great wife that helps me think through a lot of parenting issues. I still talk with her and help with how we deal with those issues. Topics we have discussed thus far include: spanking / discipline (at what age, how hard, when, etc.), pacifiers, bed-time routine, baby-proofing, expectations in watching, vaccinations, circumcision, and probably many, many more.
Fathers, please engage in parenting with your wife, and do it as soon as you can. She will thank you, and I believe you will thank yourself as your son or daughter grows into an adult.
What ways have you engaged in parenting your kids? Wives, what do you want to hear from your husbands (don’t make it too passive-aggressive!)?
Thanks to leedsyorkshire for the photo above.
This post is very relevant to our family, as our baby girl is about 7 months old. I totally agree with the points you make – I appreciate SO MUCH all of the ways that my husband Jesse chooses to be involved in parenting. Even if we do things differently sometimes, it's really cool to see him develop his own relationship with our daughter and not always defer to me as the 'main parent.' I think the biggest thing I need to hear as a wife is that he is willing to talk about parenting issues – even if we're not to a certain age or stage yet, and even if he doesn't think of the topics himself most of the time, just him being willing to look ahead with me and help make decisions about the way we want our family to be is huge.
Alexis, thanks for engaging with my blog! That is great that your husband is involved in parenting with you, and that it has started when the children are young.
I'm seeing some affects of how my step-father has not engaged in parenting as much as he could have, and it really affects the relationship. He's still a great man – it's just hard to make up for lost time.