Men take care of their wives, mothers, and daughters. Boys mistreat them. Men will confront boys when they mistreat wives, mothers, and daughters.
I took a closer step to being a man when I realized that all women are daughters. Your wife is someone’s daughter. Your girlfriend is someone’s daughter. Your friend is someone’s daughter.
The last thing that I want is one of my boys mistreating someone else’s daughter. The very last thing that I want is some boy mistreating my daughter.
Let’s help our boys treat women right, starting with our wives. I pray that if we help our boys rightly treat our wives, this will begin a lifetime of treating women how they deserve to be treated – like precious daughters.
Just remember, our sons will treat and defend women as we treat and defend them.
Be a man.
Let’s raise men.
Thanks to Dane Khy for the great photo above.
As a father of a 5 month-old son, I want to help raise my son into a man of character (the same would go for a daughter). Right now my wife really takes the brunt of parenting, and it’s easy for me to lay back and let her do what she does best. BUT, she needs me – not more than I need her – but she needs me. I need to help decide as a family how we are going to parent our children. This needs to happen from day one.
We haven’t been perfect (it’s only been 5 months!) in parenting our son, but we’ve been a team in making decisions, and we’ll continue to be a team. I admit, I have a great wife that helps me think through a lot of parenting issues. I still talk with her and help with how we deal with those issues. Topics we have discussed thus far include: spanking / discipline (at what age, how hard, when, etc.), pacifiers, bed-time routine, baby-proofing, expectations in watching, vaccinations, circumcision, and probably many, many more.
Fathers, please engage in parenting with your wife, and do it as soon as you can. She will thank you, and I believe you will thank yourself as your son or daughter grows into an adult.
What ways have you engaged in parenting your kids? Wives, what do you want to hear from your husbands (don’t make it too passive-aggressive!)?
Thanks to leedsyorkshire for the photo above.
When I first began dating my wife, she would ask my opinion about a slew of different topics (I honestly can’t remember what some of the topics were). My normal answer was… “I don’t know.” After several, “I don’t know’s,” she finally burst out with, “well, THINK ABOUT IT!” Those three words began to change my life..from boy to man.
Men need to think. I bet I was raised in a home similar to the average American, where it’s best to ‘keep an open mind.’ I used to interpret that saying as, ‘don’t have a strong opinion or think too much about anything or you’re a putz.’ I was wrong. Our communities and families need men that lead with their thought-through opinions.
That’s my challenge for the day (especially you men)… think. Try not to answer with, “I don’t know” for a whole week, even if it means getting back to someone later.
For the fun of it, write down what you’re thinking about right now in the comments below. Even if it’s just a word or two.
Thanks to Rob Inh00d for the photo above (nice username, too!)
Much of my life I have gone through the daily and weekly motions, mostly doing what people ask of me or doing what I believe is expected of me without much of a plan. If I’m honest, I didn’t have a plan concerning what college I attended, I went the easy route. I didn’t plan on what jobs I took during the summers, I just took what was given to me.
What about the girl you’re dating, or the classes you’re taking in college? Do you have a plan behind those? Is there a greater purpose that you have in dating that girl, or taking that class (sorry to equate those, ladies…)? You need a plan. That daughter and future mother needs to know you have a plan. You’ll thank yourself later if you have a plan. It’s OK if it’s altered later, just put some purpose behind what you’re doing now.
I have recently been challenged to think about having a life plan. Many people often ask the question, “what would you want to be known for after you die?” I want to plan for that. Right now I can determine how people remember me after I’m gone. I can begin being about those things I want to be known as before I pass on.
If you haven’t thought about a life plan, or don’t even know what one looks like, I would encourage you to read this post by Michael Hyatt. He’s a Christian, so it’s based around living as a Chrisitan would, but I would bet that anybody could get something out of his model.
Have you developed a life plan? What does it look like? Do you have any tips for us?
Thanks to popofatticus for the photo above.
Men need to take risks. I think our culture is starting to raise ultra-safe (boring?) men due to one major thing: women are raising them. Divorce rates are high, and mothers are usually the ones to take care of the children. Take for example a conversation my wife was a part of with a group of mothers (you’ll want to hear this)…
A young boy (maybe around 8 or 10) was pretty attached to his iguana, until it died. He didn’t want his parents to know that it died, so he froze it (naturally) and would take it out to hold it once a day or so, putting it back in the freezer when he was finished. One day, he told a couple of his friends about his frozen iguana. Desiring to be men, they wanted to do something brave. They wanted to eat the iguana. Yep, eat it. So what happened? They ate it. Epic. Continue reading “Taking Risks.”
I have not taken the time to get to know myself; what I’m good at, what makes me unique, and what I might have to offer this world until recently. I think that I am currently evading a quarter-life crisis because I’m taking the time to get to know myself.
I think men could avoid going through a mid-life crisis (or quarter-life, or whatever, like ageism Creed in the picture) if they were to take the time to get to know themselves. Here are a few resources that have helped me recently: Continue reading “Knowing Yourself.”
Men need to commit. What’s so scary about commitment? It’s a risk. Why aren’t men taking risks? They’re afraid of making the wrong decision if they make a commitment. That leaves us nowhere. Not making a decision is the wrong decision.
After working with college students over the past few years, I have noticed that the only risks young college men are willing to take are risks that (seemingly) don’t have any long-term impact. They risk not doing homework, drinking too much on Sunday nights, driving way too late and way too fast at night, etc. (some of these actually do have long-term impact, it’s just not obvious at the time, I guess).
Here are a few observations that have led me to write this post on commitment: Continue reading “Commitment.”
Would you trust yourself to drive across the bridge in the picture? What about your 15 year old son… would you trust him to drive across that bridge? Your son needs to know that you trust him. A man needs to know that people trust him.
My dad remembers very clearly how his dad gave him the keys to his first car when he was 15 or 16. As they pulled up to a bridge (similar to, but probably shorter than the one in the picture) in my grandpa’s truck, my grandpa parked the truck, got out, and asked my dad to drive across the bridge. “No way, I can’t do that,” he thought. He didn’t trust himself. My grandpa told him that he could do it, and that he trusted him. After my dad drove across the bridge, he was given the keys to that truck.
My dad wasn’t being asked to prove that he could do something in order to get the keys to his truck, even though that’s what it seemed like at the time. The bigger lesson was that his dad actually trusted him with the truck. I believe both my dad and my grandpa grew closer to being true men that day.
How much do you trust your co-workers, your employees, your family, and/or your children? Do they know that you trust them? How? I think we need to learn to trust others in order to help them grow into adults. Especially men.
Do you have any stories of someone putting their trust in you and having it change you for the better? Or maybe it was the opposite. Please share!
Thanks to sweetmarias.com for the photo above
Most children are quick to ask, “Can you do this for me, Dad?” It’s easy to ask for help if someone you trust is nearby. It’s also easy for us as parents to feel special because we’ve been asked to help with something from someone we love, and without question, help them.
Sometimes the best thing we can do as parents is to NOT help our children! Why wouldn’t we give them the confidence they need and say, “You can do it, son. I know you can.”
One mark of a maturing adult is the ability to be resourceful – to use what they know is available to them in order to solve a problem. Parents now-a-days are just a phone-call or text away, and often help their children too quickly.
Unfortunately, I’m seeing more and more college students (especially men) behave like children. Even worse, their parents treat them as children still – helping them through every problem that arises.
Maybe the next time you’re asked to help with something, it might be best not to help.
How did you learn to be resourceful?
(PS. That’s me and my younger brothers at Christmastime in the picture above. Those were the days!)
When I recently became a new parent, I vowed to cross off one particular saying as I raise my child:
“I can’t wait until…”
The general reasoning is because I don’t want to miss what is going on in his life right now.
I believe that the next generation of men are going to be comfortable where they are at right now in life, and not be constantly looking forward. I would love to let my son know that I am enjoying him right where he’s at in life, which will hopefully lead to him enjoying where he’s at in life as well.
What do you think? Have you ‘vowed’ to remove any sayings from your vocabulary as you think about parenting?