As men, how can we help improve how the women in our lives view themselves? Our wives, girlfriends, daughters, mothers, friends?

Please watch this video, and think about how we can help women know that they are beautiful to us…

I hope to be a person who helps improve the way women view themselves, rather than negatively impacting that view. Kind of reminds me of a John Mayer song

 

What is a man?

March 21, 2013 — Leave a comment

What does it mean to become a man? When does that happen? How does that happen?

These are the questions that I continue to struggle with myself, and that I struggle with as I raise (at this point in time) 2 boys into becoming men someday.

As we try to define what a ‘true man’ is like (his characteristics, attributes, nature, etc.), we need to have some sort of standard – some kind of principles with which to begin. As I try to find the principles that define what it means to be a true man, I want to be open about where I am finding those principles. First and foremost, I look to God. I believe that the God of the Bible has the greatest intentions for men, and desires for us to become the men that He has created us to be. He also has given us some pretty good (and also some pretty poor) examples in the Bible itself.

I want to earn your trust, though. I don’t want men to not listen simply because they either don’t believe in God, or don’t believe that He has anything good to say. Please don’t confuse what God has to say with what other people have interpreted Him to say. For every good example of a Christian man, I’m convinced there are many bad examples. I’m sorry if you have been hurt, abused, or led astray by one of those bad examples. I know that God is sorry as well, and I believe (He actually says this) that those men would have been better off “with a millstone hung around their neck and were thrown into the sea.” (Mark 9:42)

So, from this point onward, I believe coming up with the definition of a ‘true man’ has to include talking about the God of Christianity. I plan on being honest and open about my beliefs and struggles as a Christian, and I hope you can be honest about where you are at in life as well – no matter where you are at in your spiritual life or any other area.

I would love if you would join with me in this great journey – or continue on with me. By no means have I arrived, nor will I ever arrive at true manhood. I simply want to be open about my progress, how I process things, and how I consider raising my boys into men.

I’m convinced that our world would be a better place if more men stepped up to become true men – men that they were created to be.

Thanks for joining me. I hope to hear about your progress along the way as well.

If someone told you that investing in your marriage was a wise move, I’m nearly positive that 99.99% of people would agree with that statement. Here’s the trick… actually investing in your marriage! Yes, we just have to make the time and do it!

‘Investing’ means taking a risk with some kind of resource with the hope that you will receive something in return that is greater than the initial resource you risked. When it comes to investing anything in your marriage – my guess is that most things will end up giving you a higher return in the end. In other words, you’re making a safe and wise investment.

This weekend my wife and I attended a marriage retreat, which was the culmination of an 8 week study based on the Prepare / Enrich program. If you read no more (if you do, I’ll include a couple tips we learned ourselves), consider going through this course with either a marriage mentor or a small group – it’s a very wise investment. Continue Reading…

Parenting is tough and it takes a lot of work and thought. I had a realization quite some time ago about discipline and telling the truth, and how they might end up competing with one another.

Here’s the scenario…

My 3 year-old and 21 month old are playing together in their room. I’m not in their room because they play well together and I need to get something done in the other room. Suddenly the 21 month old starts crying. Not one of those, “oh crap, something really bad happened” cries, but something that’s worth going in to check out.

What’s your first response? Mine is to ask the 3 year-old, “what happened.” Here’s where parenting comes into play, and where we’re actually teaching our kids how to respond to us.

Let’s say he tells me the truth, and that he was, “battling with my brother, and just hit him on the top of his head really hard with my sword.” If I would have seen him do this, it would have been natural for me to take care of the issue right away through some means that I may or may not feel comfortable sharing with a large audience on the internet (I’ll let you guess).

BUT, since I didn’t actually see what happened, I’m relying on the word of my son. Now HE has a decision. He knows what the consequence would be if I saw him hit his brother on the head with his sword (because I think I’m a fairly good parent and am consistent).

What is most important to me in this scenario is that my son feels comfortable telling me the truth, and that he’s not learning that I’m disciplining him for telling me the truth. This is where truth trumps discipline.

Ultimately I want to be a safe place for my son to tell me the truth in anything. I am clear in my boundaries with disciplining him (he knows the boundaries, and knows the discipline for each boundary that is broken), and I show him that I love him as much as possible.

And who knows, maybe my 21-month old hit him in the face first? That’s usually the real story…

I recently visited with close family friends that we haven’t seen for quite awhile – over a year, at least. They have had their first child since the last time we visited them, and there was something different about them. They were still the people we have always loved and adored, but having a newborn changed something about them.

I couldn’t really put my finger on it until I told my wife – I feel like there’s something extremely humbling about becoming a parent, and it feels like you’re going from CEO to janitor in a day.

That is what I felt from this couple. They were now parents alongside us – fellow janitors. Continue Reading…

Pope Francis I was announced today as the 266th pope of the Catholic Church. Today I was reminded of my initial thoughts when Pope Benedict XVI announced that he was retiring from his duties as the 265th pope. In short… well done.

I was even more shocked to learn that the last pope to resign under his own initiative was Pope Celestine V in 1294. What?!?!?! There hasn’t been one pope in over 700 years that has said, “I’m getting too old to lead the church, I need to step aside and let someone else do this.”

I don’t know much about what the Pope does, nor do I keep tabs on what each of them are like as a person. I know that Pope Benedict XVI earned my respect as a man who was willing to lay aside over 700 years of tradition and let someone else take the reigns as the leader of the Catholic Church.

I hope I have enough humility to step aside and let someone else lead when I may not be the best man (or in the best place) to lead.

Just testing the status post on my blog. Sorry if you receive this via RSS – I don’t believe you should…

Paper Airplanes

November 13, 2012 — Leave a comment

There’s something about having 2 young boys that keeps the boy alive in you.

A little while ago I decided it was time that Howard (almost 3 at the time) and I built a paper airplane. I wasn’t happy with the same old paper airplanes that I used to build as a kid, so I did what most of us do now-a-days: Googled “best paper airplane.” You can see the picture above of what came of that – and it was awesome. For instructions on how to build it Continue Reading…

Highlights of 2011

January 3, 2012 — 2 Comments

Every year, my wife and I have a scheduled date the morning of Christmas Eve. On that date, we look back at the previous year and share our highlights and what we are looking forward to in the coming year.

2011 was a good year to look back on, although not without it’s hardships or challenges. Here are some of our highlights from 2011:

  • Our 2nd son, Stone, was born. There are so many memories and fun things that surround his birth:
    • our awesome Doctor (Adkins) and how he nearly missed the birth of our son
    • our friends Stephanie and Thomas who were visiting when my wife went into labor (kind of)
    • how much our oldest, Howie, loves his little brother
    • the timing of a summer baby
    • and more…
  • We both changed careers after being in full-time ministry for over half a decade. I have gone into marketing & owning my own business, and my wife is now unemployed (joyfully, might we add).
  • First the first time during our marriage, we stayed home for a summer. Full-time ministry brought much travel, and summers were always spent in at least a different State, if not a different Country.
  • I have begun a bible study / counseling group with Aphesis. I feel that this is the start of really understanding more about my relationship with God, leading my family spiritually, and understanding more about who I am.  Continue Reading…

Coming in 2012…

December 22, 2011 — 2 Comments

This blog has been active (loosely defined, of course) for over 2 years now. 2012 is going to be a building year for this blog, which will hopefully build into a community, and ultimately, a recognizable brand among men.

Here are some things that you might see beginning in January 2012…

  • A new logo. My buddy Bobby is a great model for the current logo, but I’m looking for something that can be transferred to other mediums. More on ‘other mediums’ later.
  • Updated website. The look will change according to the logo. Not quite sure where this is heading yet.
  • The About section. This is not a blog about me, but is going to be more about building a community of men that live with principles, passions, and purpose. I’m going to simply give direction.
I need some help. Here’s what I’ll need from those that are interested…
  • Help with a new logo. I have some specific ideas, but don’t have the ‘chops’ for great design. I’m not going to be satisfied with ‘good.’
  • Invite your friends to my Facebook page. I want the custom url associated with that page, and need 25 fans to do that.
  • Help me acquire the twitter handle @fromboytoman. I’ve emailed and tweeted to twitter, but they have yet to respond. It’s currently owned by someone that has only posted once, and that was in June of 2009. I would love this ‘brand’ to be consistent.
I’m looking forward to how this community might build. Thanks for being a part of it, and helping build this community. I hope you are as passionate about becoming a man that will lead our families, communities, etc. the way we were created to lead.